Call Me Maybe

Lots of the things I do with the kiddies are blog-worthy. If it requires my looking up additional information or making a list of items needed to complete it, the activity is immediately blog-worthy. Some activities are just random things we do. I considered phone etiquette in the latter category until I was laughing with my husband about how it was going and he asked why I hadn’t blogged about it. So I guess I will.

When I was a kid we were schooled on how to answer the phone. I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned this before in this blog, but my brother and I were taught that any time you answer the phone you say “Hello. This is the *Maiden name* residence. May I help you please?” My kids are a little young, at 4 and 5, to be allowed to answer the phone since it’s unlikely that the calls will be for them, but they know to say “Hello. This is Abigail/Briana” when we hand them the phone.

Even if they cannot receive calls yet, I wanted to start teaching them how to make calls. My parents were always annoyed when my friends would call and demand to talk to me (e.g. “Go get Adia”) or would otherwise be inappropriate on the phone (like laughing or talking to someone else at the same time) and I don’t want my kids to be “those kids”.

So once a week I have been letting them make one phone call each to a friend of their choosing.

We are practicing 5 things:

    1)   Dialing the phone.

    2)   Asking for a friend politely.

    3)   Carrying on a conversation on the phone.

    4)   Saying goodbye and hanging up.

    5)   Leaving a message.

Dialing

My kids both know our phone number. We practice it regularly in case they are even in a situation where they need to call me. Once a week, after naps, I ask the kids who they’d like to call. They love picking their friend and give it a lot of thought before they say the name.

We have only one stipulation – Mommy has to have their phone number in her cell phone. The reason for this is a practical one. If I have their friend’s phone number in my cell then I know their family well enough to bother them with a little kid phone call. Not everyone wants to be part of my kids’ practice phone calls, I’m sure.

Then I tell my girls the seven or ten digit phone number in parts (three-three-four) and let them remember and dial those digits. Then we wait. So far they haven’t dialed a wrong number but if they do, hopefully they will remember to say, “I’m sorry. I dialed the wrong number. Goodbye.”

Asking for Their Friend

When we started doing this the kids stared at our landline phone perplexed after dialing. They were accustomed to Facetiming (video chatting) with godparents and grandparents and thought they’d get to see their friends. They also didn’t realize that the phone would not default to speaker. Lesson 1 – either put the phone on your ear or put it on speaker by pushing the appropriate button. I decided to require speaker, not just for the entertainment value, but to see what they have trouble with on the call.

The kids are supposed to wait until the other person answers and says hello. Then they are supposed to say “Hello Mr./Mrs. X. May I please speak to Y.”

But real life never goes as expected. The first time we called my friend did not say “Hello” and then wait for the kids to speak. Instead she saw my number on her caller id and answered the phone “Hey girl! Oh my God, I was just about to call you. You have to hear this….” I did not bail Briana who had this first call. I whispered to her to say “excuse me Mrs. X” and she did. Of course my friend thought it was adorable but she was out without her kid so Briana’s friend had to call Briana back. Then my friend asked to talk to me. Bree handed me the phone disappointed as I chatted away.

Then it was Abby’s turn. She called her friend, asked somewhat politely, “Hi. Where is Y? This is Abigail calling,” and her friend got on the phone.

Talking

Then Abby said “Hi Y. I’m on the phone! It’s Abigail on the phone. Ha ha!” Dropped the phone on the kitchen counter and ran around screaming that she called her friend. She then told her friend to watch her do a cartwheel. I picked up the phone and heard her friend giving the phone back to her mom. I thanked them for letting us practice phone calls (and we giggled about how cute that was) and hung up.

Abby and I had some work to do. Unlike when you talk to grandparents or godparents on Facetime, you cannot leave the phone in a spot on the counter and run around talking. You have to sit still and continue to hold the phone.

That was not the only lesson we encountered. Pretty much every time we call someone we have to debrief afterwards. One time Briana called a friend who had just lost a family member (something I didn’t know when we called). The friend told Briana that and Briana said, “That’s cool. Guess what my family was doing - drawing pictures and then making phone calls.” Granted the friend continued with “Hey cool, Briana. We are making phone calls too, but this is the only one that I got to talk on.” Then both girls began to shriek and giggle about being on a phone call like real teenagers. After the call my girls and I sat down and talked about how to listen to our friends when we call. Ask them how their day is going and what they are doing.

The next week Briana grilled her friend. “What are you doing? How are you feeling? What is your favorite color? What is your favorite tv show? Let me see you count to ten.” We’d gone too far. So we talked about that.

Once Briana got the hang of it, she and one of her friends talked for 10 whole minutes before I insisted that she say goodbye and get off the phone. Briana kept walking away from me and taking the call off of speaker too, as if she and her friend were talking about serious stuff that she didn’t want me to hear. I know those days are coming but for now the rule is that the call needs to be on speaker and that she needs to stay at the table where Mommy can supervise.

Abigail is a high energy and loud kiddie. As we worked on the skill of conversation, Abigail decided to get in and out on the phone call. She sticks with “Hi. It’s Abigail on the phone. I’m calling you, Y. What are you doing?” She lets her friend answer and then gets right off of the call.

Ending the Call

Abigail ends her call efficiently. “Now I’m hanging up. Bye.” It’s not great but it works. The important thing for both kids is to wait until their friend isn’t talking to say goodbye. Interrupting to hang up is rude.

Briana likes to mimic me in getting off the phone. “Byyeee” She sing-songs. It’s cute.

We talked about other options to end the call.

-Saying “Bye”

-Saying “See you later!” or “Talk to you later!”

-Listening for the friend to say bye first

-Not saying “My mom says I have to get off the phone now.” (I know, one day this will be how all calls end, but not yet!)

Then we wait for our friend to say bye too before hanging up.

Leaving a Message

This week Briana had two firsts. She got to make her first call to a boy. My husband forbid us from calling a boy, but I figured that it’s not like she’s asking someone out, she’s practicing phone etiquette and she begged to call this boy so I let her. It was also her first time to leave a message.

As the call went to voicemail Briana froze. She stared horrified at the receiver as the message played. “Mom. It’s voicemail. What do I do?” I told her, “Leave a message.”

We had talked about saying “Hi. This is Briana/Abigail. I was calling to say hi to Y. See you at school/sports/upcoming playdate/wherever we know them from. Bye.” Short, sweet, and memorable. Until that beep came.

Briana choked. She mumbled the name of the boy who she was calling and then whispered to me “now what do I do?” I reminded her, “say your name and that you will see him at school and then hang up.” She whispers “It’s Briana calling you,” and then to me asks “now what?” I tell her to say bye and hang up and she stares at the phone and finally says bye and mumbles something else and hangs up. I text my friend immediately explaining the message. J

We will talk more about how to leave messages this week. I hadn’t expected the beep to freeze my kiddies who are fairly confident in talking and who both consider themselves to be chatterboxes.

Learning phone etiquette is a process and a fun one. As we refine with each call the kids get better. While I know I’m speeding my kids’ progression to asking for an iPhone of their own, I think phone etiquette is an important lesson. One of Briana’s friends already has her own iPhone. Luckily she is a year older than Bree so that extra year is my excuse for as long as it will hold. No iPhones, or any other phone, for quite a while at my house.

It was great blogging for ya. Byyeee!

<3 Pedigreed Housewife