One of my wonderful readers asked to share her story with
us. It is such an amazing story of
cancer survival and I am happy to be able to post it for you all. While outside of the blog I do not
personally know Heather, her story touched me and inspired our activity today,
which you will see posted after Heather’s story.
Without further adieu –
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It Takes a Village, or a few
Once I had a baby, I understood the truth behind the saying “it takes a village.” After being diagnosed with cancer, I know it takes not one but many villages.
Following a normal pregnancy, my daughter was born healthy on August 4, 2005. Our village of parents, friends and relatives immediately enveloped my husband and me. Everyone visited to see Lily, and life was filled with so many good things; little did we know what lied ahead.
I went back to work and things seemed to be fine for the first few weeks, but then I noticed I was out of breath and felt tired a lot. Of course, this isn’t odd for new mothers. To me, though, something felt off and being a new mom didn’t explain it all.
I ended up going to my doctor. After many tests and visits, I was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma on November 21, 2005. This type of cancer is found in the lining of the lung and is mainly caused by exposure to asbestos. Apparently, I had been exposed at some time in childhood. Thirty years later, I had mesothelioma and a bleak prognosis. The doctor told me that, if I did nothing, I had only 15 months to live.
Lily was just over three months old when I was diagnosed. If anything could be done, there was no way I was going to leave her and my husband alone. I chose the most radical treatment option available to me. We had to fly to Boston for it and I was treated by one of the worlds best mesothelioma doctors on February 2, I had an extrapleural pneumenectomy. My left lung was removed. All in all, I spent 18 days in the hospital and two more months recuperating. Next came chemotherapy and, after that, radiation treatments.
Cancer or not, I was still a first-time mom. This is when I learned that a village isn’t enough; it takes villages. We could not have made it through this time without the help of many villages. My parents took care of Lily while we were in Boston and called on their own village to help them. Girls I used to babysit came to take care of Lily so my mom and dad could go to work. Church people were sources of support and love for Lily and my family. While in Boston, we made a new village of nurses and other people going through what we were.
Through emailed pictures, I was able to watch Lily grow back in South Dakota. My mom kept them coming and, through my tears, I could share them with my Boston family. I only had to look at Lily's pictures to remember why I was fighting so hard to live.
I learned some important things on this journey. One is that not everyone in a village will help, and that’s why you need villages from all parts of your life. Not all we thought would help us did. A disease like cancer separates who can be counted on and who can’t.
Most importantly, I learned that only with the love, support and prayers of our villages were we able to get through this. My parents’ bond with Lily is deeper than it would have been. As a family, we’ve learned that life can change in an instant and to welcome both the good and bad. With my diagnosis, I am thankful that so much good has come from the bad.
Once I had a baby, I understood the truth behind the saying “it takes a village.” After being diagnosed with cancer, I know it takes not one but many villages.
Following a normal pregnancy, my daughter was born healthy on August 4, 2005. Our village of parents, friends and relatives immediately enveloped my husband and me. Everyone visited to see Lily, and life was filled with so many good things; little did we know what lied ahead.
I went back to work and things seemed to be fine for the first few weeks, but then I noticed I was out of breath and felt tired a lot. Of course, this isn’t odd for new mothers. To me, though, something felt off and being a new mom didn’t explain it all.
I ended up going to my doctor. After many tests and visits, I was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma on November 21, 2005. This type of cancer is found in the lining of the lung and is mainly caused by exposure to asbestos. Apparently, I had been exposed at some time in childhood. Thirty years later, I had mesothelioma and a bleak prognosis. The doctor told me that, if I did nothing, I had only 15 months to live.
Lily was just over three months old when I was diagnosed. If anything could be done, there was no way I was going to leave her and my husband alone. I chose the most radical treatment option available to me. We had to fly to Boston for it and I was treated by one of the worlds best mesothelioma doctors on February 2, I had an extrapleural pneumenectomy. My left lung was removed. All in all, I spent 18 days in the hospital and two more months recuperating. Next came chemotherapy and, after that, radiation treatments.
Cancer or not, I was still a first-time mom. This is when I learned that a village isn’t enough; it takes villages. We could not have made it through this time without the help of many villages. My parents took care of Lily while we were in Boston and called on their own village to help them. Girls I used to babysit came to take care of Lily so my mom and dad could go to work. Church people were sources of support and love for Lily and my family. While in Boston, we made a new village of nurses and other people going through what we were.
Through emailed pictures, I was able to watch Lily grow back in South Dakota. My mom kept them coming and, through my tears, I could share them with my Boston family. I only had to look at Lily's pictures to remember why I was fighting so hard to live.
I learned some important things on this journey. One is that not everyone in a village will help, and that’s why you need villages from all parts of your life. Not all we thought would help us did. A disease like cancer separates who can be counted on and who can’t.
Most importantly, I learned that only with the love, support and prayers of our villages were we able to get through this. My parents’ bond with Lily is deeper than it would have been. As a family, we’ve learned that life can change in an instant and to welcome both the good and bad. With my diagnosis, I am thankful that so much good has come from the bad.
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Heather was quite modest in her post, but I want you all to know that she has done much more than survive. Heather has become as source for support and hope for the mesothelioma community. She blogs about her treatment and recovery and speaks out for awareness of mesothelioma and asbestos risks.
If you want to read more about Heather, or follow her blog,
head over to:
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Reading Heather’s story made me want to hug up my babies and
call my parents. It also made me
want to make sure that my kids knew who was in their village and how we all fit
together. This came at a good time
too because Briana has close friends who are cousins to each other and she’s
always asking about it. Like, “so
they are cousins so that means one’s mommy is a grandparent to the other one’s
daddy, right?”
So this week we made a family tree and talked a lot about
what the relationships are. Since
the kids’ school has declared this week screen free week (no television,
iPhones, eReaders, laptops, etc.) I cannot take pictures on my iPhone while we
make the tree, but here’s a pic taken after the kiddies went to bed of our
final family tree (hey, it’s only screen free week while the kids are awake at
our house J
).
I looks super confusing as an end product, but, as always,
the discussion with the kids was more important than the end result.
We started with the girls and they knew who their parents
were and that we are married. They
knew that I had a brother and they knew his name. They also knew the names of their 4 grandparents and who was
married to who and the names of their two remaining great-grandparents.
With each name we told a story about hanging out with that
person, then we said who they were to Mommy and who they were to the kiddies.
They were surprised to realize that their grandparents had
brothers and sisters, although they have met all of them on many occasions. They knew the people by name and their
kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids, but had never before put together how
they were all linked.
My side of the family is small and pretty
straightforward. We charted it all
out and the kids were amazed at how big their family is. I told them that all of those people
were on Mommy’s side, but they have Daddy’s whole side too. We started with my husband’s dad and
his sister and her husband, kids and grandkids. Then we did the hard part – my mother in law is one of 12
and they have kids and grandkids and great-grandkids. We continued with our storytelling and charting, but about
halfway through the kids started getting antsy.
As I realized that the kids were getting overwhelmed I
started just drawing lines to represent people and saying their names and
stories (sorry those of you not on the board! We still love you and we didn’t forget you or your kids…we
just stopped charting everyone <3).
Briana noticed a glaring omission when we were
finished. One of our cousins has a
girlfriend that Briana is very attached to. Her name is Brianna, so you can see why. I explained that they weren’t married
yet, but maybe one day would be, and that’s why Brianna wasn’t on the board as
a family member. Briana wouldn’t
have it. She insisted that Brianna
be added to the family tree. So
she was, and Briana triumphantly sang their song, appropriately titled ‘the
Briana Brianna song’.
When the chart was up we all backed up.
I explained to the kids that every one of the people on this
board loves them. Every one of
these people would take care of them.
Every one of these people would help them. Every one of these people likes playing with them. And most importantly, that they should
love, and take care of, and have fun with everyone in their family as well. My girls were amazed and kept asking,
“ALL of these people love me?”
Yes. All of them. That’s what is so great about family.
I have been stressing to the girls lately that their sister
is their best friend and that they should always look out for each other. I took this opportunity to reinforce
that message as well.
For good measure we had a family girl hug and snuggle.
Thank you, Heather, for sharing your story and for making me
take the time to stop and be appreciative for my health and my family!
<3 Pedigreed Housewife
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